On Performative Males

Here is the original draft of my article on performative males, published in our school newspaper. The published version omits quite a bit of this. That version can be read in the newspaper.

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If you’ve spent any time on the Internet, you’ve probably heard the term “Performative Male.” You’ve probably even heard it being thrown around in school or outside in the streets. So what is a performative male? The image that comes to mind for most is a tall male, wearing a baggy t-shirt or a button-up with a tie, a jacket (leather or a zip-up of some sort), and baggy jeans. The shoes are some trending pairs, such as Onitsuka Tigers or Adidas Campus 00s. Maybe even New Balance 550s. He’s holding a matcha from a local cafe (not Starbucks, never that) and a tote bag slung over his arm. Wired headphones connected to his iPhone 5 (which is not his main phone; he simply uses it like an iPod and for vintage quality pictures for his captionless Instagram stories), playing Clairo and Beabadoobee. He holds a book in his hands, most likely a piece on feminism. This is the performative male. And yet, when we take apart each individual piece of him, they are all completely normal things to have and like. 

The definition you may know is how “performative male” refers to men who enjoy things such as astrology, iced matcha lattes, Labubu keychains, certain women musicians like Clairo or Laufey, vinyl records, vintage clothing, therapy, women authors like Sally Rooney, baggy jeans, wired headphones, tote bags, and skin care.

The label “performative” is so odd to me. On the border of annoying. Approaching bothersome. Who cares? Who are we performing for? Performative implies you are acting in a way for someone else. Well, most people perform for the validation of others. But if the others begin to mock the performance (as shown by the thousands of videos teasing those who fit the archetype, the humorous and satirical Halloween costumes, and the fact that an Urban Dictionary definition exists for this term), then what is the point? And while I’m on this rampage of questions, why is it performative MALE? What if we had the woman version? Is the woman version of the performative male an anti-feminist, 1950 ideologies mindset, podcast guest? Or can it simply be a woman who partakes in drinking matcha and buying Labubus?

Now, I recall being called a “performative matcha liker,” implying that I was drinking matcha while not actually enjoying it. Unfathomable to the people that matcha is good. Because in most people's eyes, it’s for the performance. Matcha became mainstream. So, because of the popularity of matcha, all of a sudden, I am the fake one for liking it. There is no possibility that I drink it because I truly enjoy the taste. And along those lines, there is no chance some people truly like to eat Dubai chocolate. It is infeasible that some truly want a Labubu for themselves. We are the ones “performing.” Wired headphones? Performative. Listening to Clairo? Performative. Everything is performative. Trying to better yourself and share kindness with the world is even performative now. Everyone believes that everything we do is for the validation of others. There is no more for yourself. It is all for everyone else. And you may think you are real to yourself, but you truly aren’t. Everyone does performative things every day. When you hesitate to insult someone to their face for their sake? That’s performative. When you pretend to like something for the sake of someone else's feelings? That’s performative. The word performative has lost its meaning.

According to the Wikipedia page, being a performative male “generally involves performative displays of progressivism, feminism, as well as emotional sensitivity.” Let’s be real. We don’t want to judge males who show these traits as performative… or do we?

The word “performative,” and the image that comes along with it, is almost like an insult at this point. My friend Isaac often gets called performative, though he’s been wearing baggy jeans forever. He’s performative because of his look. Just his face alone, apparently, is performative.

So, where do we draw the line for what is performative and what isn’t? Why is drinking matcha performative but drinking Celsius Energy isn’t? Both went viral, and both are associated with different “subtypes” of people. Yet no one calls Celsius performative. Listening to Laufey is performative, but listening to 2018 prime BTS isn’t? Are we implying that no one possibly could enjoy the so-called “performative” things without acting to gain validation (from women, of course)? Reading a book on feminism is obviously an act, yet reading a book on white supremacy wouldn’t be. Strange. All of it is strange. 

The thing is, there are so many archetypes and subgenres of people we have created. “Popular girl,” “Gamer,” “Anime weeb.” How is that not similar to the performative male? Trick question: it is. These are labels. Labels that people stick onto other people to make them more digestible. People can’t handle the thought of someone being so odd and different, and you’re not able to categorize them when you look at them. They have to be popular. Niche. Friendly. Loser. Weird. Smart. They have to be defined. And the performative male is just that. A label upon more labels upon a person.

I’ve caught myself calling someone a “performative male” a handful of times. And I’m sure some people enjoy playing into the stereotype. Some don’t take it as an insult, but those who do are truly intriguing. They don’t like being in the category. Being predictable. Being seen as “fake.” To me, the real performative male is anyone who hides who they really are for some mass approval. Someone who pretends to enjoy something to be liked. 

Making yourself enjoy things or act a certain way just for validation or attention is strange to me. Why? Why can’t we enjoy life as it is? Why do you need to rely on the world for things? For attention? For love? Why must strangers approve of you?

I’m asking too many questions, of course. Nobody really knows why human beings feel such a dying urge to be accepted and loved by the masses. Nobody wants to be different. Being performative… it isn’t supposed to be conventional though. 

So before you go, I want you to answer my final question: What to you is performative? And what isn’t? How do you judge people if they are “performative” or not? By clothing? By habits? By name? Hair? Face? What makes one performative? And how do they beat it?